I just want to relapse -- ive been clean for a while.. So it sucks that its coming on now... I dont know why but I just really want to.. i just MISS it... And... idk.. how can you not miss somthing like that? I loved it.. I hated it.. Its destroying me and I'm just so -- so sad... No ones here everyone's gone... Help? I don;t know if anyne will answer this but... Idk i thought it was worth a shot.
Little Pet
Oct 3, 2018
Discussion
I feel like my voice is bouncing off the walls -- like no one really wants to hear what I say because its.. wrong? Not important i guess... I dont know why. Ive triied to ask for help but people just keep passing by what am I doing wrong?
hey love, I just want to let you know that you ARE STRONG and YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS. I was a self harmer and so I understand the desire to cut. But as im sure you have experienced the feeling after relapse is worse than the feeling before. You know what I mean?? ask yourself how have you stayed clean for so long and then do whatever it was that helped you. If you absolutely NEED to do something -- seriously just feel your pulse or read, do something that wont break skin.
But what if.. what if I can't -- I mean I want to break skin... thats the problem.....
Do you have a pet? Or a sibling? Or a friend who you can text or call?
I mean... Yeah I guess -- I have a dog.. My best friend just ditched me... my parents dont give a crap about me. I literally hate my half sister shes so perfect and ughh
Okay, what I want you to do Is to call your dog to you.... Tell me -- what kind of dog is he???
*she* She's a golden lab... Okay --I called her..
Now what I want you to do is to pet your golden lab and talk to her.. sit next to her and talk to her, Tell her what happened with your friend, tell her why you want to relapse and just cuddle with her... Can you do that??
Yeah... Okay -- what if someone hears?
*quiet venting* Also, I really suggest getting a mentor, if your parents aren't available -- make your own parents. A coach or a teacher or someone you can trust...
Oh.. . yeah I guess thats sorta a good idea.. maybe I can try that... Thanks... I think.. Well I HOPE that I can stay clean tonight....
I believe in you <3 You can do this -- If you need anything else: reasonssave@gmail.com
I think I might take u up on that one.
Hi "Just Me" Hang in there. Sometimes you get attached to and miss things whether they are healthy for you or not. Whether they were hurting you or not. They can still be habit forming. If you're still struggling, try to let a trusted adult in to help keep you accountable. It sounds like you have good healthy thinking but you need some tools to keep you accountable.