The thing about a dangerous relationship, or an abusive relationship, is that it is SO FLIPPING HARD TO SEE. The person starts off kind, sweet, funny, basically-- Perfect.... right??? Nope. Eventually that person changes-- they start to lie they ask you to do ALL the giving and they give nothing in return. A healthy relationship should balance out. Not to say that a healthy relationship is perfect, but a healthy relationship will NOT DEMAND CONTROL. A healthy relationship can hear the word 'no' without getting angry. A healthy relationship is not based off of a lie. A healthy relationship does not try and change who you are. A healthy relationship is not co-dependent. A healthy relationship is not manipulative. If your relationship has a lot of these red flags then its probably abusive and you should run before you get caught in their perfect lies.
Aug 3, 2017
Hey everyone, I just wanted to share about something that I feel is not mentioned often enough. Abuse in relationships shows up in so many ways, and sometimes it can be very subtle. I was once in a relationship where I was manipulated emotionally and sexually, and I did not realize the abuse that was going on through that until I saw something talking about how manipulation really is abuse. Even if it is more subtle than the typical view of abuse, it is still using you and getting you to do things that you do not want to do, or feel things that you do not want to feel. Do not feel bad for leaving a relationship even if you think things like, "well he's never hurt me so I can't be mad at him," or, "she's just trying to get my attention - it's me who is the problem." Look for the lies that are keeping you tied to a relationship, and do not feel bad for leaving because of them. If you are struggling with determining if something is abuse or manipulation, ask someone who you trust. It can be as simple as, "Hey, does this behavior seem strange to you?" No matter what, remember that you are enough. You are enough to deserve to be treated with respect and loved fully. You are enough to not deserve being manipulated and pushed around by someone who claims to love you. I know this kind of thing is so difficult to deal with, and it hurts, but you are enough, and you deserve a wonderful, healthy relationship <3